You Can't Fix Stupid!

SHIP'S LOG:

I think it was a comedian by the name of Ron White who came up with the phrase and i would have to day, based on the last two days that I would have to agree completely.

INCIDENT #1 I needed to go to a marina for a "Pump & Dump." one that I should have taken care of sooner. But I waited until Sunday when seemingly everyone with a boat is out using it. I had to pass under the Venetian Causeway Bridge West to get to the only marina in the immediate area that said they had a working pump-out. I was a couple of hundred yards away from the bridge and I called the tender so that he would know that I was coming. I asked him if he could see me and he said "Yes." I did this to give him a heads up because the toll station to get onto the Venetian Causeway is just beyond the bridge and there can be a rather long line of traffic stretching over it. I just wanted him to know I was approaching and was looking for an opening that would be "minimally invasive." I was still some distance away when he hit the lights and opened the bridge. He kept the bridge up for a minute and then closed it back down. I was about 50 yards away. So I called him again and asked for an open "at his convenience." And he went off on a toot, saying that if I made an appointment for the opening I should be there to take advantage of it. And to show me who was in control, he made me sit there until I was joined by several other boats also asking for an opening. I was trying to help him out and he just seemed to take it the wrong way.

INCIDENT #2

The way into the marina for the "Pump & Dump" was down a narrow channel. I actually had to wait, idling in the ICW, until the boats already at the dock began to leave. I got the "ALL CLEAR" from the dock boss and proceeded in. Now in most cases, people in boats tend to pass each other like they do in cars, left-to-left(port to port). A "Gentleman boat operator," coming out of the marina decided that it was the perfect time to talk on his cell phone. With his cell phone in one hand and a beer in the other, an a boat full of friends and family, he started right out of the marina right down the center of the channel so that there was no way I could pass him and stay in the channel. I had to wake him up with blasts from my horn before he realized what he was doing and moved over. And did he give me the dirtiest look. ( I also got the finger from the woman I took to be his wife.)

INCIDENT # 3

Heading back through the same bridge as in Incident #1, I parked 30 feet off the bridge and made my call. Another sailboats was on the other side, about the same size as ABISHAG, and we would pass through together, no problem. The bridge went up and we both started through when a obviously brain dead individual on a Personal Water Craft decided that this would be the perfect time to also got through. AS we two sailboats were between the fenders under the bridge, he came around from behind the other sail boat, cut in front of my bow, passed down the portside and cut in front of the other sailboat's bow, all the while looking back obviously towards some friend also on PWC that hadn't followed him.

INCIDENT#4

Heading back up the Venetian Causeway toward the Miami Anchorage, I came upon a 40-45 motorsailer puttering along in the channel . . . . SSSSSLLLLOOOOOOWWWWLLLLLYYY. The entire deck of the motorsailer was covered with people all drinking and having a great time, including those who where sitting "on the pilothouse" with their legs dangling down in front of the helm(steering) station, and all those on the fore deck in front of the pilothouse. The motorsailer was just weaving all over the place and though I looking, I can't say for sure that I saw anyone on the wheel. I had to duck and dodge to get by, and I just missed colliding with the motorsailer. One of the young ladies offered me a drink.

INCIDENT#5

This one happened today. A couple of kids, mid to late teens, were out windsurfing. Now if the wind is right, you can get a windsurfer up to some pretty respectable speeds. It also can be not the most agile and maneuverable craft and they can get out of control quickly if you loose your focus. For these reasons, they are safest in open water with not a lot of obstacles . . . .like moored boats, especially those with dinghies tethered of the back. And with the foolishness and impetuousness of youth, these two windsurfers took off from the beach through the mooring field and almost made it. One T-Boned a hard dinghy, driving his sailboard through the side, impaling the dinghy while the owner watch from the cockpit. The second lad was luckier as he hit a soft dinghy which only catapulted him and his board 20 feet up and 30 feet out. Neither was really hurt, except in the wallet, though for some reason, I don't believe that they learned much from the incident.

There were actually more incidents and these were just around me. I can't imagine what went on elsewhere. Then again, you can't fix stupid.